Korea is the first place I've lived where I feel unusually fat. My curves, which in the UK are considered pretty normal, go unappreciated here, where curvy Koreans are talked about in the staffroom in whispers. I walk into clothes shops and try to anticipate the shopkeeper's sharp intake of breath with a pleading "Foreign size?"
None of my colleagues are overweight - not a single woman out of 30-odd Korean teachers - and many are so tiny I can encircle their upper arms with my thumb and middle finger. It's a reflection of the attitudes of and towards women in Korean society. Apparently, 50% of women have some kind of serious eating disorder, and 78% of women in their 20s and 30s have had plastic surgery - although this includes the relatively minor double eyelid surgery. It's so popular, plastic surgeons operate out of malls in small outlying suburbs of Seoul.
After I found out about the double eyelid procedure (which gives the eye a fold in it), I started looking more closely at all the women I met - and I'm pretty certain that 78% is a fair figure! It's kind of understandable though, once you discover that job application forms include a space for photos (face and full body) and a section where you give details about your weight, blood type and personal home situation.
Now, don't get me wrong. It's not like large Koreans are ostracised from society (I mean, come on, it's not like they're disabled! Now there's a situation I'd hate to be in). You even see them on TV sometimes! Of course, both of them are comedians, but hey - the only disabled person I've ever seen on TV was in an advert for basic human rights.
The desire to be thin and beautiful reaches its withered bulimic tentacles right down into middle school, where my 13 year old female students count calories and carry around pocket mirrors to check their faces during class. Teachers reinforce this, calling up boys to demonstrate "Handsome. More Handsome. Most Handsome." and allowing kids to choose "Sexy Boys" and "Small Faced Girls" as team names. A class I have to teach over this summer pokes fun at people with freckles, buck teeth and moles, and teachers congratulate students on being beautiful. A teacher's comment on a class sheet (usually full of notes on behavioural issues and clinic visits) once read "Pretty girls!" I couldn't resist writing beneath it "Thanks for this helpful piece of information" before returning it to their homeroom teacher. Giving children a sense of self esteem is, of course, important. Basing that self esteem on external beauty (itself based on a damaging perception of what is beautiful) is child abuse.
It's questionable whether Westerners are any better - we're just not as good at reaching the ideal - but on the whole, I think I prefer people pretending they like my sizeable thighs, as opposed to pointing and laughing.
I'll end with a comment from a colleague I luckily found more amusing than offensive. Talking of the differences between Korean and western women, she stepped back and, critically looking me up and down, said "it's because you have such a small face, Emily, that your body looks so big."
Gee. Thanks.
Now, don't get me wrong. It's not like large Koreans are ostracised from society (I mean, come on, it's not like they're disabled! Now there's a situation I'd hate to be in). You even see them on TV sometimes! Of course, both of them are comedians, but hey - the only disabled person I've ever seen on TV was in an advert for basic human rights.
The desire to be thin and beautiful reaches its withered bulimic tentacles right down into middle school, where my 13 year old female students count calories and carry around pocket mirrors to check their faces during class. Teachers reinforce this, calling up boys to demonstrate "Handsome. More Handsome. Most Handsome." and allowing kids to choose "Sexy Boys" and "Small Faced Girls" as team names. A class I have to teach over this summer pokes fun at people with freckles, buck teeth and moles, and teachers congratulate students on being beautiful. A teacher's comment on a class sheet (usually full of notes on behavioural issues and clinic visits) once read "Pretty girls!" I couldn't resist writing beneath it "Thanks for this helpful piece of information" before returning it to their homeroom teacher. Giving children a sense of self esteem is, of course, important. Basing that self esteem on external beauty (itself based on a damaging perception of what is beautiful) is child abuse.
It's questionable whether Westerners are any better - we're just not as good at reaching the ideal - but on the whole, I think I prefer people pretending they like my sizeable thighs, as opposed to pointing and laughing.
I'll end with a comment from a colleague I luckily found more amusing than offensive. Talking of the differences between Korean and western women, she stepped back and, critically looking me up and down, said "it's because you have such a small face, Emily, that your body looks so big."
Gee. Thanks.
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