Things I learned in Tabin

1. Don't try to win in the "Nings Being Last in a Dark Jungle" game against a Japanese woman with a child. You will lose, and then you will be not just last, but alone in the dark jungle, as they disappear round a big tree with the torch.

2. Ants are not our friends. They may seem tiny and industrious and friendly, but when your guide looks at your feet, widens his eyes, and shouts, "RUN!", run.

3. "The Song of the Gibbon" isn't in any way euphemistic or metaphorical or exaggerated - gibbons really do sing to each other at dawn. Just not anywhere near a camera.

4. Baby pygmy elephants are small and cute. Mummy pygmy elephants are not, especially when they are inside the lodge and decimating an area of wild grasses a mere 30m from your cabin.

5. Male Orang Utans are hairy everywhere but their armpits.